Wizard's First Rule vs James Bond
by NhBdy
Summary: This won't make much sense if you havn't read the books or heard of James bond Who HASN'T! , but basically it's Khalan vs. James-Bond-turned Richard. Anywayz, enjoy! CAUTION: SPOILER ALERT!


**"It's Rahl. Richard Rahl." I very nearly screamed in frusteration. Was it ever going to end? The new Bond movie had come out nearly a week ago, and Richard, oh my stupid Richard, had seen it 12 times since. As if Chandalen wasn't bad enough! Going around, flirting with Jebra and pulling off dorky stunts. And it wasn't just them, damn it! The whole of the damn First File was acting up! Qouting the movie and acting out scenes, making the maids giggle and blush. I havn't been able to take a single confession since "the movie" came out without some mension of James Bond or his lovely girlfriend. Always something along the lines of "I raped a cardboard cutout of Camille Montes in public, Mistress" or "I got into a fight because he didn't like the new Bond movie, Mistress". **

**Lately, I've had to stoop down to hiding in the kitchens to avoid Harold and my own Richard, hosting imaganary gun fights. Adie was always a good woman to run to, but lately she had seen the Twilight movie, and she was head over heels in love with a vampire. Now that everything was fine with Pell, her taste in men had** **grown more pronounced. Cyrilla was the same way. Only Zedd and I were untouched now.**

**"Why the hell do you keep doing this?!" I shrieked.**

**"I am motivated by my duty," he qouted.**

**"Richard, I've put up with you for a long time, but that's it!!! You... Are..... MAD!!!" If I was pissed before, I was furious now.**

**"You don't have to worry about me," he stated. Unbelievably, he had the nerve to roll to the left of me and pretend to shoot whoever was standing behind me.**

**"Be careful of this one, Mr. Bond. She will not go to bed with you unless you give her something she really wants... but you make a fine couple - you are both, what is the expression? Damaged goods."** **Someone qouted behind me. Chandelan. Who the hell else? His speech had improved, but only because he had seen the movie nearly as many times as Richard had.**

**"RICHARD! CHANDELAN! Get the HELL outta here!"**

**"This man and I have some unfinished business," stated Richard.**

**"She would have done anything for you... forgive her, forgive yourself," Chandelan said softly, ignoring me.**

**"You know what? There is something horribly efficient about you," I hissed. Both men's eyes widened slightly, and unexpectedly, Richard answered. **

**"When did you see the movie?" NOT the answer I expected. Damn. That must have been some sort of qoute I stumbled on.**

**"SCREW THE MOVIE BOYS! If you arn't gone in 30 seconds-" Thank Denna, in seconds Richard was flying backwards, ending his flight with a solid sounding bang at the far end of the grand hall. I grinned, and turned around to watch Zedd turn on Chandelan.**

**"Find Bond!" Chandelan yelped. Without looking away from my beloved bodyguard, Zedd sent yet another blast of air at my husband, forcing him back at least another 15 feet.**

**"Damn! He killed him." Chandalen cursed. That was the last time he qouted, may I add. Zedd had had enough too. Within seconds, Chandalen was somewhere buried in the walls. **

**"I don't think the dead care about vegance," Zedd qouted quite unexpectedly. I yelped, and threw myself into him, my hands on his skinny chest. I mentally prepared to destroy my only ally, but he only laughed and moved away from me. **

**"D-don't. Please don't tell you're one of them. Please," I stuttered out.**

**"No. Will you control Adie? She keeps talking about Edward, and its driving me mad. She's hyperventilating with Mistress Sanderholt in the kitchens right now.**

**"Anything is better than being stuck with **_**them**_**."**

**"I wouldn't say that," he muttered under his breath, "No really. Will you? The boys here won't be able to move for at least 2 weeks. They'll be better by that time."**

**"Sure. Thanks Zedd." I kissed him on the cheek then, and to my amusment, he blushed crimson red. As I walked down to the kitchens, I wondered just how bad things had to be for a wizard of the First Order to run away screaming. Whatever it was, surely the Mother Confessor could handle it. Ha Ha. Stupid, stupid me. As I entered the kitchens, I was immediatly assulted by loud voices. Very, very loud voices. Was that.... qouting? **

**"**_**Damn**_**," I groaned. It was. **

**To be continued.....**


End file.
